The Glades done whup'd me!!!
Originally posted on May 19, 2008
This past Sunday(5/18) morning, while biking in the Everglades, I had one of the worst experiences I've had in a long time. It started with the thick smoked-filled foggy air and my plan to bike the levees west of the Broward civilization. From the onset, heading west, the air was wreaking from the fires scorching about 20-25 miles southwest of suburban S. Fla. It really wasn't affecting my riding so I went forward feeling pumped & ready to try out the "The Dips".
This is a particular levee that runs about 5 miles alongside the western edge of the Miami Canal across from Mack's Fishing Camp.
It's called The Dips because it has 4 sections where the levee dips down below the water level. During a really dry season(twice in the last 12 or so years), such as last year's & almost this year, The Dips are dried up. However, any other time, it makes for some adventurous rides!! Basically, you have to hold your bike over your head & walk across 15-20 yards of knee high water with the occasional upper thigh splash.
On my ride, just before getting right across Mack's Fish Camp, I see a huge gator(head was about 2 1/2 feet long), I'm guessing around 9 ft long, right on the levee to my right. I hauled ass right by it, maybe 7 feet away, before it noticed me & jumped into the canal. This was already pretty weird. Not the fact that I saw a gator(hello, in the Everglades!!), but the fact it was ON the levee, not just the canal bank. I realized this morning smog had given this area an extra 'lil some-some I hadn't expected. Now I'm thinking...what will the 1st dip be like???
Hoping the dip was dried up & that I'd be able to just roll right through it, I picked up speed as I approached it. As soon as I reached it I saw it wasn't dry & I would have to walk across. The fact that I saw that nice sized gator about a mile back, I decided to thoroughly survey the area for bubbles in the water & more gators. Within a few seconds, one gator to my right went flying into the canal, then bubbles in the opening of the inlet....a gator...about 5 feet long. Now I started hearing them all around in the thickets & brushes about 15-30 ft away, which sucks because you can't see them, but you know they're nearby. I tossed some rocks in the general direction to see if they would swim away.
(this is where I learned that gators on land are much more timid than in the water)
You see, not only did the gator not go away, he turned & floated in my direction.....the nerve!! Then another one, after hearing the commotion, made his way to the same inlet, this one was a bit bigger too. Bottom line, I stood there about 8 minutes, thinking these damn prehistoric hell lizards aint budging & this is just the 1st of 4 dips like this. And it happens to be the easiest with the least depth & length of the 4 too. So I did the wise thing.....I pussed-out & went back from whence I came.
However, something else happened that was the beginning of the worst riding episode I can ever remember. The smoke I mentioned was still pretty thick and was stirring the mosquitos along with the damn'em-all-to-hell horseflies.
(Note: when riding in the presence of mosquitos, the worst that usually happens is you inhale and swallow a few of them, but your best defense is to keep moving because they don't realize you're coming until you plow into them at unawares.
Damn'em-all-to-hell horseflies, on the other hand, not only notice large animals like me...and of course horses, they fly fast enough and have a undying will to attack & attach themselves to you. This makes for a serious nuisance I hadn't experienced in the past)
At 1st, it was just a couple here & there, but in no time at all it was freakin' dozens of them all over me, regardless of my constant riding or crazy man arm flailing. So now I'm heading back slapping myself silly with one hand & steering the bike through this UNpaved road with the occassional gator scratching himself on the side. I thought it would be a patch I just have to ride through....my arse!! This constant barrage persisted. At this point I've taken my baseball cap to help the with the slapping, very reminiscent of a horse's tail I might add. As soon as I would slap them off from somewhere on me though, another one would get me somewhere else, all with the purpose of sucking my blood. I would see them flying around me like buzzing electrons while I continued with the crazy man arm flailing.
This crap went on a good 4 miles or 20 minutes or so, until, the inevitable. During the flailing and riding I hit a rough spot on the levee & ran into a rock that caused me to lose control & flip over the handle bars. Not good. This was one of those wrecks that I would've kept myself down for a little while assessing my damage, but my survival & fleeing instincts got me right back up to swipe away from my body, arms & legs about 20 or so of those little bastards and continue to bail out.
I finally reached the trail that leads me to civilization and luckily it had a couple of small smouldering fires that I called into 911. The smoke from these fires provided me with a respite so I could check myself out a little better. It helped, but I didn't want to leave the fires unchecked either because it could've spread quickly and created another unnecessary fire event. By the time I reached US 27, the firemen had arrived to the gate on their way to save the day.(I will admit, they all looked at me like a suspect, but I guess that's what most would think if I happen to be the ONLY dude out there.)
I finally made it home and was so glad to get there. I realized, after further inspection, both my rims were slightly bent, or as the bike shops say, needed to be trued. That had to be a hard hit to do that to both rims. In my 14 years of levee riding I had never had a swarm like that attack me. I know now the smoke must've driven them in my general direction & I was simply in the line of fire. Damn I hate those horseflies.
My friends, till the next epic ride which is always just a short time aways!
Posted by Levee Rider at 9:25 PM